Why flexibility leads to real progress
It’s that time of year when a lot of us crave change. The idea of a reset, a fresh start, can feel empowering and motivating. But when we set the bar too high, we often veer off course as soon as life gets in the way, as it inevitably does.
Instead of a sweeping overhaul, I want to suggest three key ideas to help you stay on track with your goals in the new year.
- Lower the bar
While it might seem counterintuitive, lowering the bar gives us the flexibility we need to be successful. Life will throw us curveballs – a kid will get sick, a work deadline will pop up, or we’ll have a night of poor sleep. We need a Plan B to keep us moving forward, and Plan B isn’t a failure, it’s part of the plan.
Take an honest look at what you can do instead. Something is always better than nothing, and consistency is built on what we do on our hardest days, not our best ones. A trip to the gym that fell through can become a power walk after lunch, or a few simple bodyweight movements or stretches. If your goal is to order less takeout, keeping easy pantry or freezer staples on hand can make it possible to get a simple dinner on the table on a nights where you don’t feel like cooking. - Habit Stacking
Linking a new behavior to something you already do consistently can be very effective. An example from my own life: I have an established habit of drinking a glass of water after I wake up and before I have my coffee. After some bloodwork at my last physical, I set a new goal of taking a daily vitamin D supplement. The bottle sat on the counter, and although I saw it every day, taking it was inconsistent at best. I finally decided that, even though I’d prefer to take it with food, having it with my glass of water was the best way to make it happen consistently.
Take a look at what you already do without thinking and see where you can add something small. Can you stretch while watching TV at night? Pack lunch or prep breakfast while cleaning up from dinner? Take a sip of water every time you send an email? Get creative! - Embody the change
This last one is important. Meaningful and long-term change doesn’t come from willpower, it comes from values-based and identity-based habits. Tell yourself “I am someone who (fill in the blank)” and then look for small, daily actions that reinforce that identity. Someone who values their health doesn’t have to be perfect – they show up imperfectly but consistently. When things don’t go as planned (and they won’t), practice self-compassion and “do the next right thing”, as Elsa says in Frozen II!
Change doesn’t have to be dramatic to be meaningful. By lowering the bar, anchoring new habits to what you already do, and focusing on who you want to become rather than what you think you should do, you create change that can actually last. Small, flexible steps taken consistently will always take you further than the perfect plan you can’t maintain.
